Fatbear's Lockdown LPs: Elvis Costello

Armed Forces was the third Elvis Costello album and although it achieved more sales and charted higher than both of the earlier releases, personally I thought it to be inferior, and looking at the track listing now, there are very few songs I can remember. Those I do are mostly for the wrong reasons !

Early buyers of the LP like myself also received a free bonus EP, which contained live performances of "Accidents Will Happen", "Alison" and "Watching The Detectives", the most notable being the much slower, piano version of "Accidents Will Happen", which is completely different to the track on the album.

Having replayed the LP, its tempting to say "I just don't know where to begin" as per the opening line of "Accidents Will Happen", but actually I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed listening to Armed Forces. I hadn't previously been aware of, or maybe had forgotten, the numerous military references in the lyrics on the album but perhaps it isn't too surprising given the title of Armed Forces ! It also surpasses the previous two albums in terms of clever lyrics and rhymes, which is some achievement.

The album version of "Accidents Will Happen" is with the full band and up-tempo, and over time is considered to one of Elvis Costello's most popular songs, despite its modest success as a single. It contains a number of great lines, "though he says he'll wait for ever, its now or never, but she keeps him hanging on".

"Senior Service" is the shortest song on Armed Forces, coming in at just over two minutes, and features a funky chorus, the beat of which is something like Sylvester the Cat sneaking up on Tweetie-Pie, whilst the verse could be out of a soul hit, and the song moves nicely between the two. Senior Service is a cigarette brand and the lyrics play both on this and the military themes "Senior service, junior dissatisfaction, its a breath you took too late, its a death that's worse than fate".

Next comes the huge hit "Oliver's Army", the happy, bouncy tune and jaunty keyboards disguises the angry lyrics of imperialism and mercenaries. "Called careers information, have you got yourself an occupation ?", "There was a checkpoint Charlie, he didn't crack a smile, but its no laughing party when you've been on the murder mile".

"Big Boys" is a hybrid of several different components, starting slowly, moving into almost something from 1960's Motown before quite a delightful "She'll be the one" coda. There are also hints of "No Action" and "Hand in Hand" from This Year's Model in the middle ! It all just about works.

"Green Shirt" is a slow song with a computerized beat, some heavy drumming, an usually tender vocal and synthesized fade-out. "Cause somewhere in the Quisling clinic there's a shorthand typist taking seconds over minutes".

"Party Girl" is the Alison style romantic ballad on the album "they say you're nothing but a party girl, just like a million more all over the world"

Side 2 opens with the bombastic "Goon Squad", a song I hated when I first heard it, but it sounds terrific now. There's a desperate urgency to it, "I got my sentence, I got my command, they said they'd make me major if I met all their demands. I could be a Corporal into corporal punishment, or the general manager of a large establishment"

"Busy Bodies" doesn't really fit in with the feel of the rest of Armed Forces, and would be more at home on This Year's Model, both lyrically and the style of music, although there is also a hint of "Accident's Will Happen".

"Sunday's Best" is an interesting song, played in a faux-waltz style. "Times are tough for English babies, send the Army and the Navy. Beat up strangers who talk funny, take their greasy foreign money". It was considered "too British" by the record label and excluded from the US release of Armed Forces. They replaced it with Elvis' excellent version of Nick Lowe's "(What so Funny 'Bout) Truth, Love and Understanding" and it is a shame that that song was not included in the UK release, even though it still sounds more like Nick Lowe than Elvis Costello !

"Moods For Moderns" was another song I didn't like at the time. There's a funky beat and a disco type chant to start with as if Elvis is trying to be Chic or Earth, Wind and Fire. The line of the chorus "and what if none of these dreams come true" is quite catchy, but overall its my least favourite track on the LP.

"Chemistry Class" has possibly the most gorgeous tune of all the songs here, which hides the fact the song is about the experimentations of the Nazis. "You've got a chemistry class, I want a piece of your mind, you don't know what you started when you mixed it up with mine. Are you ready for the final solution ? Oh, Oh."

The Nazi imagery continues with "Two Little Hitlers" where again a delicious melody masks some sinister lyrics. "Two little Hitlers will fight it out until one little Hitler does the other one's will". "She's so calculating she's got a calculator. She's my soft touch typewriter, and I'm the great dictator"

Listing :

Side 1

1. Accidents Will Happen
2. Senior Service
3. Oliver's Army
4. Big Boys
5. Green Shirt
6. Party Girl

Side 2
1. Goon Squad
2. Busy Bodies
3. Sunday's Best
4. Moods For Moderns
5. Chemisty Class
6. Two Little Hitlers