Billy Idol - Idol Songs : 11 Of The Best

 

I quite liked Generation X, but not quite enough to purchase a record. Part of the punk movement, but without most of the politics, songs such as "Your Generation", "Wild Youth" and "Ready Steady Go" were fun rather than changing the world.

After the break-up of Generation X, singer Billy Idol decamped to New York and finalized his sneering, spiky bleached hair, leather gear with unnecessary zips, and fist pumping persona which became his trademark. Being in the right place at the right time, Idol became huge in the USA, taking advantage of the launch of MTV with some suitably theatrical videos, and as a part of the so-called "second British invasion". I was surprised to discover that many familiar songs charted so poorly in the UK charts, with only three top 10 singles, one of which was the live cover version "Mony Mony".

When this greatest hits compilation was released in 1987 Idol was still at the peak of this powers, but he subsequently released nothing of any significant merit afterwards, so unless you were an absolute fan this LP is basically all of his that you would need in your record collection. Looking through my collection of singles, I was surprised to find it included "White Wedding", although I don't remember buying it !

Nearly all of the songs contained here should be familiar to most people of my generation, and probably to many younger listeners as well. This is a rare example in Fatbear's Lockdown LPs where I can remember all the songs ( although it is a greatest hits compiliation ! ), so there shouldn't be any surprises in hearing them again. Interestingly though, this album is not on YouTube, so I would have to play them all individually.

I thought there were plenty of great tracks on "11 Of The Best", with my favourites being the recording of the Generation X song "Dancing With Myself", the anthems "Rebel Yell", "Hot In The City" and "White Wedding" and the slower numbers "Eyes Without A Face" and "Sweet Sixteen". I never really saw the point of the cover of Tommy James and the Shondells' "Mony Mony", especially as this had been covered by many other artists but it was huge success for Idol. The rest I saw as likable fillers.

"Rebel Yell" is perhaps the classic Billy Idol song. A great intro, a searing guitar solo and a memorable chant along chorus. "In the midnight hour, she yelled More ! More ! More !"

"Hot In The City" is slower than the usual Idol song, with strings, a nice bass line, alluring girly backing vocals and the usual anthem chorus.

"White Wedding"is perhaps the best all round song, with a driving bass intro and a great tempo. "It's a nice day to start again, it's a nice day for a white wedding"

The ballad like "Eyes Without A Face" sounded even better now than I thought it did back in the 1980s. I really liked the soft "Les yeux sans visage" backing vocal, there is some not too serious rap in the middle and some screeching guitar before moving back to the soft melody.

"Catch My Fall" is a mainstream rocker which includes some sax, has a nice bass line and a great chorus. "It could happen to you, so think for yourself, if I should stumble, catch my fall - catch my fall !". I was surprised to learn it wasn't a hit in the UK.

Idol's version of "Mony Mony" is a OK cover of the old standard, making sound American mainstream rock a la Bon Jovi, Motley Crue, Van Halen or other bands of that ilk, if you like that sort of thing.........

"To Be A Lover" again has a pulsating hi-energy bass and synth beat, girly backing vocals and swinging blues piano. Its the one where the video has Billy in a boxing ring.

"Sweet Sixteen" is a tender acoustic ballad with slight rockabilly undertones. At the time it was released I completely missed the back story around the meaning of the song, thinking it was more akin to Ringo Starr's pervy "Sweet Sixteen" instead of the sad story of a broken engagement and the building of a castle in Florida. It's a great song.

"Flesh For Fantasy" is a standard mid-tempo rocker, saved by a decent hook for the chorus. It now reminds me of something Simple Minds might have released, which isn't a great recommendation in my book !

"Don't Need A Gun" has a catchy synth intro, driving bass and drums and a searing guitar break. It lacks a decent tune though.

"Dancing With Myself" is a re-recording of a Generation X song and is very hard to resist the temptation to get up and dance on your own !"Let's sink another drink, cos it'll give me time to think. If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance and I'll be dancing with myself"

After 35-40 years, Idol's music has stood the test of time, and still sounds relevant today.

Track Listing :

Side One :

1. Rebel Yell ( 1984 - No 6 )
2. Hot In The City ( 1982 - No 58 - remix 1987 - No 13 )
3. White Wedding ( 1985 - No 6 )
4. Eyes Without A Face ( 1984 - No 18 )
5. Catch My Fall ( 1984 - )
6. Mony Mony ( Live ) ( 1987- No 7 )

Side Two :

1. To Be A Lover ( 1986 - No 22 )
2. Sweet Sixteen ( 1987 - No 17 )
3. Flesh For Fantasy ( 1984 - No 54 )
4. Don't Need A Gun ( 1987 - No 26 )
5. Dancing With Myself ( 1981 - )
 

Released 1988
UK Chart Position : 2

The Human League - Dare

 

When it was released in 1981, "Dare" was hailed as a groundbreaking album, both for The Human League and synth-pop in general.

The story of the band consisting of only Philip Oakley after the two other members quit to eventually form Heaven 17, and Oakley hiring two 18 year-old schoolgirls after seeing them dance in a Sheffield nightclub is well documented. However, just as important was ex-Rezillo's song-writer and guitarist Jo Callis joining the band, even if he had swopped the guitar for a synthesizer !

Two hit singles had already been released by the time "Dare" came out and two more were to follow. I'm not sure of exactly when I bought the album, but it was certainly before "Don't You Want Me" was released as I was already familiar with that song by the time it was being played to death on the radio and at student discos.

I remember constantly playing the LP at the time, but looking at the track listing now I can only remember the four singles plus "The Things That Dreams Are Made Of", the rest drew a blank.

The opener "The Things That Dreams Are Made Of" remains my favourite song on the album. It has a hypnotic upbeat Kraftwerk style motif, a strong synth bass line and a catchy chorus. Lyrically it is a list of some of the simple things in life that people should aspire to, and at times comes across like a travel brochure. It even manages to name check Norman Wisdom and each of the Ramones. My favourite line though is "March, March, March across Red Square, do all the things you never dared".

"Open Your Heart" has a joyous melody and is pure electro-pop. Although once described as trying to sound like ABBA, to me it sounds like Ultravox.

"The Sound Of The Crowd" was the first hit and is a dance number with a funky beat and a shouty chorus. It still sounds great.

The next five songs had all been completely erased from my memory and it was like hearing them for the first time, and none of them jogged even the faintest recollection.

"Darkness" is a slightly slower number with a pretty three note motif and a decent tune, although I was struggling to remember it by the time the album had finished.

"Do Or Die" sounds like several other songs I can't quite place but a funky beat can't save what is a fairly bland song.

The one minute long "Get Carter" is an electronic version of the tune to the Micheal Caine film of the same name. I.m not sure what the point of including it was !

"I Am The Law" is slow and ponderous.  I think it is supposed to be menacing but it's just dull.

The tempo of the intro of "Seconds" is similar to "Open Your Heart". I quite liked it although at nearly 5 minutes it could have done was some editing.

I liked "Love Action ( I Believe in Love )" back in the day but hearing it now I found the synth sounds in the intro to be annoying and it all sounded rather dated.

There can't be made people who having heard "Don't You Want Me" and the story of the girl breaking away from her controlling Svengali like figure. "I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, that much is true, but then I knew I'd find a much better place, either with or without you". It remains a classic pop song, and is currently being used in an advert for an online hotel booking tool !

Maybe I listened to "Dare" on a bad day, but it hasn't aged well. Although there still several outstanding tracks, some of it doesn't sound so good now. Although I played the album to death over 40 years ago, perhaps the sign that half of the album had been total erased from my memory perhaps adds credence to the disposable, throwaway labels often attached to synth-pop ?

In 1981 I probably would have rated this as a 5 star album, but now I would probably give it a 3 or 3.5 star rating.

 

Track Listing :

Side One :

1. The Things That Dreams Are Made Of
2. Open Your Heart
3. The Sound Of The Crowd
4. Darkness
5. Do Or Die

Side Two :

1. Get Carter
2. I Am The Law
3. Seconds
4. Love Action ( I Believe In Love )
5. Don't You Want Me

Released 1981
UK Chart Position : 1

Singles :

The Sound Of The Crowd ( No 12 - 1981 )
Love Action ( I Believe In Love ) ( No 3 - 1981 )
Open Your Heart ( No 6 - 1981 )
Don't You Want Me ( No 1 - 1981 )

 

The Housemartins - The People Who Grinned Themselves To Death

 

By the time The Housemartins' second album was released in September 1987, the band had achieved a number one hit with an accapella version of The Isley Brothers "Caravan Of Love", and two top 20 singles had already been released from the LP.

I purchased the album almost immediately expect more of the same as "London 0 Hull 4" but at the time found the album to be slightly disappointing. There was still the trademark breezy pop songs, with good harmonies and backing vocals, and sharp/witty lyrics, but somehow if felt a little flat. Slicker production values seemed to have smoothed off some of the sharper edges of the indie-pop.

I played Side two a lot more often than Side one, as it contained the three hit singles, plus two up-tempo toe-tappers.

However, listening again over 35 years later, I was pleasantly surprised by how good the albums sounds now. I really didn't like Side One's opener "The People Who Grinned Themselves To Death" but now I think it is a great song. A critique of the Royal family "even when their kids were starving, they all thought the Queen was charming" it has a lively tempo, a high pitch vocal, brass and a fantastic harmonica solo.

"I Can't Put My Finger On It" follows with a slightly slower tempo, plucked guitar and great backing vocals for chorus. I really like the singing of "I can't put put put my finger on it, finger on it". 

"The Light Is Always Green" is a slow ballad, mostly piano and organ and continues to grow on me. "Wherever there's a will, there's a motorway".

"The World's On Fire" is about a church burning down. It has a staccato guitar intro and a catchy chorus. "Now, I was told not to play with fire ( the world's on fire ), I said look out church, the flames grow higher".

The instrumental "Pirate's Aggro" is similar to "Reverend's Revenge" from first album but with organ and harmonica instead.

The side closes with "We're Not Going Back" which has another sing-a-long chorus, a motoring riff and a harmonica solo. "Don't backpedal down a broken track, I'm alright Jack its an easy trap"

Side Two begins with the blistering guitar intro to "Me And The Farmer" which remains one of my favourite Housemartins song.  "All things bright and beautiful all creatures great and small. All we've got is London zoo, cos the farmer owns them all"

"Five Get Over Excited" is as the lyrics state, "Fun, Fun, Fun" but it is not the Beach Boys !

"Johannesburg" is quiet, slow and soulful, with just the vocal and acoustic guitar. It's my least favourite track on the album but the next song, "Bow Down" changes the mood with a jaunty piano, more brass, and surprisingly, school choir backing vocals.

"You Better Be Doubtful" is classic Housemartins. Jangly indie pop and more infectious backing vocals for the chorus. "You better be doubtful, you better beware, ware, ware"

The album finishes with "Build", which is probably the high point of this collection of songs.  A slow piano ballad, with a liquid bass line and shared vocals, with Paul Heaton singing the verses and drummer Dave Hemmingway singing the chorus, and a long fade of just the organ riff. The biting lyrics include "From Meccano to Legoland, here they come a brick in their hands, men with heads filled up with sand, it's build" & "Whistling men in yellow vans, they came and drew us diagrams. Showed us how it all worked out, and wrote it down in case of doubt".

Overall, this album appears to have aged extremely well, and there isn't a bad song on it.

Track Listing :

Side One :

1. The People Who Grinned Themselves To Death
2. I Can't Put My Finger On It
3. The Light Is Always Green
4. The World's On Fire
5. Pirate's Aggro
6. We're Not Going Back

Side Two :

1. Me And The Farmer
2. Five Get Over Excited
3. Johannesburg
4. Bow Down
5. You Better Be Doubtful
6. Build

Released 1987
UK Chart Position : 6

Singles :

Five Get Over Excited ( No 11 - 1987 )
Me And The Farmer ( No 15 - 1987 )
Build ( No 15 - 1987 )

The Housemartins - London 0 Hull 4

 

The Housemartins burst on to mine, and the nation's, consciousness when their third single "Happy Hour" became a top three smash hit. A jangly indie-pop song supported by a great video featuring animated plasticine figures, which were popular at the time, with four geeky looking blokes performing dance routines to the song. Many people at the time misunderstood the lyrics of the song. Rather than being a celebration of after work drinking it was a sobering critique of the misoginistic views of city trader types.

The title of their first album underlined their modest statement that they were only the fourth best band in Hull, after Red Guitars, Everything But The Girl and The Gargoyles, and there were no decent bands from London. At the time I had only heard of Everything But The Girl, and that is still the case !

I thought the album was terrific, with mostly, simple, breezy fun pop songs, strong harmonies with clever lyrics displaying a mixture of angst, frustration and wit. There were many sharp observations in amongst the unusual mix of Christianity and Marxism

"Happy Hour" remains an almost perfect pop song and the follow-up "Get Up Of Our Knees" doesn't let the side down, with another great tune, some piano and a chanted chorus. Mid-way through the song fades to some softly spoken lyrics before eventually the loud angst returns.  "Why shoot someone tomorrow you can shoot today !". Other outstanding lyrics included :

"Paupers will be paupers, bankers will be bankers
Some own pennies in a jar, some own oil tankers
What may sound like tomorrow could be ours today
There's no more need for sorrow if we get off our knees to pray, off our knees to pray"

There is a change of pace with "Flag Day", a slow piano ballad that's over 5 minutes long and perhaps a little too earnest for its own good.

The upbeat tempo returns with "Anxious", with a 1960s skiffle riff and the rest of the band sing the chorus.

"Reverends Revenge" is a short harmonica dominated instrumental, only one minute 28 long. Its a lively toe-tapper although the guitar riff is similar to that in "Happy Hour".

Side One ends with "Sitting On A Fence" another jangly pop song, with a high pitched vocal for chorus.

With a sigh to begin with "Sheep" starts Side Two. Another simple, strong pop song with a nice bass line and great backing vocals. With a short staccato guitar solo, it's a killer pop song and a surprise it wasn't a monster hit.

"And when you see a cane, I see a crock
And when you see a crowd, I see a flock
It's sheep we're up against"

"Over There" is another tuneful pop song and I love the pre-chorus :

"Every hour I have to count to ten
And a thousand times I've thought again
But it seems I've given all that I can give"

"Think For A Minute" is the second slower paced number, and another with a high pitched vocal from Paul Heaton. For me, it was an odd choice for the final single from the album.

"We're Not Deep" has some catchy singalong "ba ba baba baba ba" do-wop singing, and there is more nice bass from Norman Cook.

"I open my curtains at 7am
Just so you think I'm up with the rest of the men"

The gospel influenced "Lean On Me" is the final ballad, featuring just piano and voice. It's not to be confused with the Bill Withers song of the same name !

The album finishes with "Freedom", a standard R&B offering.

London 0 Hull 4 remains an enjoyable album to listen to despite some of its politics. It's hard to think that Paul Heaton went on to form the Beautiful South whilst Norman Cook became Beats International and Fat Boy Slim !

Track Listing :

Side One :

1. Happy Hour
2. Get Up Off Our Knees
3. Flag Day
4. Anxious
5. Reverends Revenge
6. Sitting On A Fence

Side Two :

1. Sheep
2. Over There
3. Think For A Minute
4. We're Not Deep
5. Lean On Me
6. Freedom

Released 1986
UK Chart Position : 3

Singles :

Flag Day ( - 1985 )
Sheep ( No 56 - 1986 )
Happy Hour ( No 3 - 1986 )
Think For A Minute ( No 18 - 1986 )

Heart - Dreamboat Annie

 

I had never heard of Heart when a friend at school gave me their first album to listen to. Given that he was into bands such as Deep Purple and Dr Feelgood, I was a little surprised to hear a mostly melodic album with a nice mix of acoustic guitars and mainstream rock songs. I liked it, but it was a few years before I purchased my own copy, snapping it up at a bargain price of £4.29 in a sale, although I don't know where from !

Early in their career, Heart were viewed as a Canadian band, being part of the music scene in Vancouver and at a time when radio stations had low quotas on non-Canadian bands that could be played on the radio, Heart qualified as being domestic. It was only a while later that I discovered that they were actually American and came from just over the border.

One of their unique points, at least in the 1970s, was that their material was written by two sisters, Ann and Nancy Wilson, with Nancy being one of the two guitarists in the band, whilst Ann was the vocalist.

The three singles from the album were hits in the USA to break the band in their home country and became rock radio staples, and although the singles failed to register in the UK, the album entered the top 40.

I thought side one was particularly strong, and I can still remember all five songs, but apart from the reprise of Dreamboat Annie, my memory of side two was a little hazy.

The album opens with "Magic Man". A simple, rocking beat, extended guitar solos and keyboards give it a more “epic” feel beyond its melodic hook in the verse and chorus. It's a well constructed song with a great vocal.

The first of three version of "Dreamboat Annie" follows,  "( Fantasy Child )" is only 70 seconds long with a gentle plucked guitar and a gorgeous vocal. It probably should have opened side, like "Pigs On A Wing" on Pink Floyd's Animals.

"Crazy On You" is another stunning song. The finger-picked acoustic intro leading into fast paced strumming before the riff comes in. It has a good hook, magnificent interludes, and a pleasing middle section and guitar solo.

"Soul Of The Sea" is outstanding. A tender guitar ballad with layered strings, lovely guitar patterns and a majestic vocal. The middle section is odd, and has sometimes been referred to as being Led Zeppelin-esque although I can't say I see this,  but it works, before drifting back to the original chords and verse.

The side closes with "Dreamboat Annie", a fast paced folk song version with layered harmonies and picked acoustic guitar and banjo. At just over two minutes, it could go on for longer !

Side two begins with "White Lightning & Wine" a standard, bluesy rocker.

I had forgotten just how great the next song was. "( Love Me Like Music ) I'll Be Your Song" starts with strummed acoustic guitar and has some nice slide guitar and liquid bass lines making the vibe almost country. It's a beautiful song, with a great sing-a-long chorus.

"Sing Child" is an aggresive rocker featuring a Jimi Hendrix style guitar solo and jam in the middle along with some Ian Anderson-like flute by Ann Wilson. This does sound like Led Zeppelin and Ann even sings like Robert Plant. It's my least favourite song on the album though.

"How Deep It Goes" is another nice song, with an acoustic guitar intro, nice bass flourishes, some strings, piano and more flute.

The album closes with the melancholic "Dreamboat Annie ( Reprise )". A much slower pace, with piano and strings, a tender flute solo ahead of dramatic strings, before the acoustic guitar outro from the Fantasy Child version brings it to an end.

It was great to listen to Dreamboat Annie for the first time in many years, and it remains a classic album.

 

Track Listing :

Side One :

1. Magic Man
2. Dreamboat Annie ( Fantasy Child )
3. Crazy On You
4. Soul Of The Sea
5. Dreamboat Annie

Side Two :

1. White Lightning & Wine
2. ( Love Me Like Music ) I'll Be Your Song
3. Sing Child
4. How Deep It Goes
5. Dreamboat Annie ( Reprise )

Released 1975
UK Chart Position :36

Singles :

Magic Man ( - 1975 )
Crazy On You ( - 1976 )
Dreamboat Annie ( - 1976 )

Hawkwind - Astounding Sounds, Amazing Music

 

I purchased Hawkwind's "Astounding Sounds, Amazing Music" shortly after it had been released in 1976. The single "Kerb Crawler" had received reasonable play on Capital Radio's Nicky Horne's late night show and I thought it was a pretty good song. I was unaware that bassist/vocalist Lemmy had been sacked and poet Robert Calvert had been rehired as vocalist/lyricist.

I was aware of Hawkwind from their 1972 hit single "Silver Machine" but was ignorant of any other of their work. The purchase of this album was more in faith of being a "well known" band it must be good !

The reality was though, that I thought it was a patchy album, with the three Calvert-Brock compositions being the highlights but the rest were forgettable apart from a vague recollection of "Kadu Flyer". in fact looking at the track listing only "Reefer Madness" and "Kerb Crawler" were the only songs I could confidently recall.

Side one opens with "Reefer Madness" with the sound of underground train to start with, a great guitar riff, high energy, then rock and roll piano for the chorus. The mellotron instrumental break is reminiscent of Yes, then there is the sound of jet fighter, weird saxophone, and the spoken lyrics the type of which you might hear in a Vincent Price film. Lyrically, it is about the nightmare of smoking Marijuana, where Calvert's finger falls off and steals his stash. I'm not sure how the rest of the band felt about this anti-drug song, given their alleged reputations, but overall it is an impressive song.

"Steppenwolf" is nearly 10 minutes long and has the typical Hawkwind guitar riff. Additionally, there is Roxy Music Sax and a strong bass line throughout. The song is based on Herman Hesse's half man-half wolf character, not the Born To Be Wild band. 

There is a hypnotic violin in the middle section and some lyrics chanted in German.  Although mostly a dark piece, at times there are some nice keyboards and sax, and whilst I wouldn't go so far to give it the classic status that many Hawks fans give to it, the track sounds a lot better now than I thought at the time.

Side one closes with the instrumental blues/funky feel "City Of Lagoons". The slow guitar could be from mid 1970's Pink Floyd whilst the keyboards were part ELP/part Yes, but overall it was dull and I guess hardly something Hawkwind fans would have been expecting.

Side Two begins with "The Aubergine That Ate Rangoon",  another instrumental track with a strong bass line intro and a Kraftwerk synth pattern. Despite some nice sax and a good title, it is forgettable.

The single "Kerb Crawler" has another good riff, a driving bass line and girly backing vocals. It is the most accessible, commercial rock song on the LP and a stab at being mainstream despite a fab guitar solo.

"Kadu Flyer" has wind sound effects and piano and mellotron as part of the intro, but the vocal by Nik House is weak and the song would perhaps have benefited from being sung by a better vocalist. The long outro features sitar and violin, and the sax is more Arabic than Himalayan. The song ends with some crashing cymbals.

Side two ends with "Chronoglide Skyway", an instrumental with a dreamy synth intro but the rest is nothing special. It has been described as being psychedic Tangerine Dream.

In summary, the view that the best parts are the three Calvert/Brock songs remains, whilst the three instrumentals are largely forgettable.

Hawkwind were often describe as "Space Rock" but perhaps the phrase "spaced out" might have been more appropriate.............

Track Listing :

Side One :

1. Reefer Madness
2. Steppenwolf
3. City of Lagoons

Side Two :

1. The Aubergine The Ate Rangoon
2. Kerb Crawler
3. Kadu Flyer
4. Chronoglide Skyway

Released 1976
UK Chart Position : 33

Singles :

Kerb Crawler ( - 1976 )

 

Half Man Half Biscuit - Back Again In The DHSS

 

The sticker on the album cover shows I paid £6.49 in Our Price records for this album, although I can't remember when I bought it or whether it was in Richmond or Hounslow. I hadn't heard anything by the band before I purchased this but I was aware of their reputation and the favourable press they had been receiving. I wasn't aware though that by the time this had been released they had broken up, citing the memorable reason of "musical similarities", when most band use musical differences as the excuse when they break-up. The band did get back together again a couple of years later.

As a follow-up to "Back In The DHSS", "Back Again In The DHSS" was a collection of sessions recorded for John Peel's radio show, plus a couple of singles and some previously unreleased material. The album titles are a play on The Beatles "Back In The USSR" but instead with the Government Office with responsibility for unemployment.

I thought the album was fantastic, with great tunes and outstanding lyrics in post-punk indie music. All of the songs were brilliant and laugh out loud in places, featuring rare wit, satire and keen observations you wish you had thought of over mundane life in small-town Britain in the 1980s. Absolute poetry !

I absolutely loved the surrealism of "The Trumpton Riots" and thought the lyrics to "The Bastard Son of Dean Friedman" were amongst the best ever written. I had completely forgotten who Dean Freidman was, so at the time missed the irony of the "You can thank your lucky stars" line at the end of the song !

I am not sure what people from outside of the British Isles would have made of Half Man Half Biscuit, and assume most would be bemused by it all, and miss most of the parochial cultural references, apart from perhaps Bette Midler ! However, all of it resonated with my childhood and the world I was currently living in at the time.

"The Best Things In Life" opens side one with a jaunty intro before the drums and main riff. The closing line "There is nothing better in life than writing on the sole of you slipper with a biro on a Saturday night instead of going to a pub" is often the one quoted from this song but I like "Well today I knocked upon their door, and said that I was passing, and Charlie launched a scathing attack. When I asked him what I'd done he said You Stupid Bastard, we live in a cul-de-sac ".

"D'Ye Ken Ted Moult" mixes the Ted Moult Everest Double Glazing ads with the title of the traditional folk song "D'Ye Ken John Peel". It has a toe-tapping guitar riff whilst describing the methods used in the adverts to demonstrate the indestructibility of the double glazing. "Helicopters in my garden bringing wind, I beg your pardon"

"Reasons To Be Miserable ( Part 10 )" is a play on Ian Dury's Reasons To Be Miserable Part 3. Its slow and gloomy but has great observations such as Turkish Delight being full of Eastern monosodium glutamate, sexist builders, and people who think they're sophisticated 'cos they eat Fry's Chocolate Cream. "Reasons to Be Miserable, another good excuse to wish you were dead".

"Rod Hull Is Alive - Why ?" asks the rhetorical question about the unfunny comedian with the badly behaved stuffed Emu. "Tonight I'll cry myself a bath of tears and ask the world. Why is Rod Hull alive – and getting paid as well?" Other great lines include 

"Heard a Palace Spokesman mention Sarah, said she'd known the groins of Jacques Laffite. She's well prepared to be a standard bearer as pure as unproverbial driven sleet"

"And I wonder if they'll bring back National Service and the birch, and I wonder but I doubt if they will ever bring back the Watney Cup".

"Dickie Davies Eyes" is a play on Kim Carnes "Betty Davis Eyes" but instead with the dashing host of ITV's 1970's Saturday Sports show World Of Sport. Lines here include "Moorcock, Moorcock, Michael Moorcock you fervently moan" and "Brian Moore's head looks uncannily like London Planetarium"

"The Bastard Son Of Dean Friedman" features a penny whistle synth sound synth and at times the vocal is reminiscent of the Pogue's Shane MacGowan. There is also a brief wacky guitar solo. The lyrics are so good they deserve to be repeated in full :

Well I heard a lovely rumor
That Bette Midler had a tumor
So gleefully I went to tell my friends
But they said it was a lie
That she wasn't going to die
"And by the way, have we got news for you!"

And they told me that the man
I had always known as Dad
Hadn't met my Mum when I was born
And they reckon that I am
But I hope to God I'm not
The bastard son of Dean Friedman
The bastard son of Dean Friedman

And my school work fell behind
With this bombshell on my mind
But the art teacher said he understood
But he could only sympathise
With the sadness in my eyes
Even though he showed me his Magritte!

And in the corridors of fear
I would shed a lonely tear
As ridicule flew at me from both sides
And they mocked me in my mocks
And embroidered in my socks
The bastard son of Dean Friedman
The bastard son of Dean Friedman

"I Was a Teenage Honved Fan" pays homage to the all conquering Hungarian football side of the 1950s and has a delightfully ironic fantastic middle-eight

"Is this the bit where we’re supposed to make guitars collide
And is this the bit where we release all that raw energy
And is this the bit where we go crashing through those barriers
Like what they do in music mags?"

"Arthur's Farm" is another surreal piece of magic as Arthur Askey and Douglas Bader, two men who had their legs amputated, visit George Orwell's Animal Farm and get drunk with Napoleon "Four legs good no legs best". It's a rousing song !

"All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit"  is a picture of playing Subbuteo and Scalextric as a kid. Certainly myself and two mates used to play regular Subbuteo competitions and had most of the accessories. The Subbuteo brochure had 100+ different team kits with many exotic teams you had never heard of. My favourites from the dozen or so teams I had were the yellow and black stripes and black shorts of East Fife and the all white kit with a diagonal red stripe of Peru.

"And come to half time you were losing four-nil
Each and every goal a hotly disputed penalty
So you’d smash up the floodlights and the match was abandoned
And the dog would bark and you’d be banned from his house
And your travelling army of synthetic supporters
Would be taken away from you and thrown in the bin"

I have been to watch Dukla Prague on several occasions and home and away Shirts, both modern and retro were available at Club Shop on the path from turnstiles to main stand. I was tempted but resisted !

In "The Trumpton Riots" the world of the 1960s idyllic children's animated TV series has moved on twenty years into the 1980's social unrest and a violent uprising. It starts with the gentle theme tune from the programme before launching into a great punk song. Again, the outstanding lyrics deserve being shown in their entirety :

"Unemployment’s rising in the Chigley end of town
And it’s spreading like pneumonia
Doesn’t look like going down
There’s trouble at the fire station someone’s had the sack
And the lads are going to launch a scheme get rid of Captain Flack
Tell PC McGarry to get himself a mate
And arm themselves with CS gas
They’re gonna be out late
We’ve had Cant conformism since 1966
And now subversion’s in the air in the shape of flying bricks

Someone get a message through to Captain Snort
That they’d better start assembling the boys from the fort
And keep Mrs Honeyman right out of sight
‘Cos there’s gonna be a riot down in Trumpton tonight

All this aristocracy has really got to stop
We overthrow the surgery and kidnap Dr Mopp
And Chippy Minton’s Socialists could storm the Market Square
And make plans to assassinate our autocratic Mayor
Windy Miller leads his Basque-like corn grinders to war
With windmill sails and bombs with nails they smash the town hall door
But Snorty and his boys arrive with one big erstwhile crew
Whereupon they bring about a military coup"

Listening to the album now, it remains a classic, and brings back so many memories !

Track Listing :

Side One :

1. The Best Things In Life
2. D'Ye Ken Ted Moult
3. Reasons To Be Miserable ( Part 10 )
4. Rod Hull Is Alive - Why ?
5. Dickie Davies Eyes

Side Two :

1. The Bastard Son Of Dean Friedman
2. I Was A Teenage Honved Fan
3. Arthur's Farm
4. All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit
5. The Trumpton Riots

Released 1987
UK Chart Position : 59

Singles :

The Trumpton Riots ( - 1986 )
Dickie Davies Eyes ( - 1986 )